Calm yourself with this simple career coaching tip — and thanks for your vote!

Here’s an easy coaching tip to use when you’re feeling stressed or needing some motivation or TLC.
By Freda Marver 9 years agoNo Comments

Calm yourself with this simple career coaching tip — and thanks for your vote!

Here’s one of the Simple Career Coaching Tips I share with my clients: Instead of talking to yourself in the first person (I’m stressed about this interview), switch to the second or third person. (You’re stressed, He’s / She’s stressed, even [use your own name] is stressed.)

This was based on research reported in the Harvard Business Review*. When people used non-first person pronouns, they were better able to:

  • Control their feelings and behaviors
  • Feel calmer before delivering a speech
  • Feel more satisfied with themselves after delivering the speech

I tried it myself and was surprised how quickly it worked.

When having an overwhelming day, my usual mantra is:

  • Oh no, how am I going to get all this done?
  • How could I have let things pile up?
  • Why can’t I work faster? (Sound familiar to any of you?!)

So I tried this tip, and instead said: Freda, you have a lot of things that need to get done today. There’s a lot in front of you – what will you do first?

Three things happened right away for me:

  • I found it easier to strategize.
  • The emotional angst just melted away.
  • I realized I was being kinder to myself – not so self-critical, but rather supported!

Try it yourself! And feel free to let me know how it works!

And on another note:Freda-Marver-Voted-Favorite-Career-Coach-2015

Minnesota Women’s Press recognized me in their What Readers Want poll as a Favorite Career or Life Coach. Thanks to all of you who voted! It’s wonderful to be appreciated for my work, which I find meaningful and enjoy. I wish the same for you! It’s what I do!

Best —

freda signature


*Pronouns matter when psyching yourself up, by Ozlem Ayduk and Ethan Kross in Harvard Business Review, February 6, 2015.

  Coaching Tips
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